If you want me, you’re going to have to fight for me. No, I don’t expect you to go up against anybody else. I don’t expect you to prove yourself more worthy than the next guy.
You won’t find yourself with bloody hands or broken bones, but that doesn’t mean it will be easy. You’ll probably find yourself with a few bruises on your heart.
Just to make things clear, I don’t need you to chase me. I’m not running away from you. I’m not asking you to settle for an unrequited love. I’m not asking you to want somebody who doesn’t want you because the truth is that I do.
By telling you this, I’m telling you that I want you more than anything. I’m rooting for you, my hope is that you’ll come out victorious in the end. It’s not a fight against people, although sometimes I wish it was.
Something tells me my demons are much more dangerous. They’ll tell me over and over again that you don’t care. Tell me that you do. They’ll remind me of all the times I’ve been lied to, cheated, and betrayed. They’ll tell me you’re no different.
Prove them wrong. They’ll wake me up in the middle of the night with memories of all the people who have ever left. I’ll probably try to leave you before you have the chance to.
Please don’t leave, but more importantly, please don’t let me go.
They’ll cover my mouth so I can’t speak, but please don’t mistake my silence for hypocrisy. I promise there’s so much I want to say, but I’ll just have to show you.
If you want me, you’re going to have to fight for me, because fighting by myself is hard enough. My heart is heavy and my soul is tired. My body is weak. I put up a damn good fight, but everything’s better with someone on your side.
Please don’t say you’ll fight for me if you’re just going to give up. Don’t bother if your intentions are not sincere. The last thing I need is ill-intentioned people in my way.
I’m already under attack, I will not welcome you to leave me wounded in the midst of a war. I can’t afford to be weighed down by uncertainty or filled with empty promises.
The heart is strong. It always finds a way to put itself back together, but even still, the broken heart is like broken glass. I can make a mosaic out of it, but it’s never the same as it was before.
I fear that with each heartbreak, my heart looks a lot less like art. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know how many more times I can put it back together. Fighting off my demons is one thing, but heartbreak hurts more than any pain they could ever inflict.
I don’t know how many more times I can pick myself up off of the ground after being pushed down by somebody who was supposed to build me up.
Funny, how the people who you trust the most can also hurt you the most.
I understand if you say it’s too much to handle. I understand if you say it’s too much of a commitment, but please don’t say you’re in this if you’re still watching from the sides. Please don’t say you’re here for me if you don’t plan on staying through the storms. Please don’t say you love me if you don’t.
I can’t afford another heartbreak. I’d rather fight alone than alongside temporary people.
My heart may be heavy, and my soul may be tired, but that’s because I am not fighting with my hands, I am fighting with all my heart and soul.
If your heart isn’t in it, you don’t stand a chance. If your heart isn’t in it, don’t bother trying. If you’re not ready to fight for me every day, you need to walk away.
Previously published on ThoughtCatalog.