I have a hard time taking no for an answer. If I want something, I am going to get it.
Until recently, I used to think that my successes were a result of this intense determination I have to get what I want. I would praise myself in my mind as if I had control over anything and everything that happened to me, as if I decided the opportunities that came to me — as if I controlled the wind, when really I should have been adjusting my sails.
Because sometimes you want something so bad, maybe you want it more than anything, yet every time it seems like you’re almost there, like you’re just about to hold it in your hands, it disappears.
It runs away from you.
It laughs in your face.
It tricks you into thinking you have it until one day it’s gone, without any explanation.
In an instance such as this, a person like me goes insane. My brain goes into an overload of questions as it desperately tries to find an answer as to what I could be doing wrong, but nothing ever checks out.
What do you mean I’m not in control? What am I doing wrong?
There is a common mindset amongst many people that is: If you work hard towards something, you’re guaranteed to get it.
Although hard work is a virtue that should always be acknowledged, the idea that success is guaranteed through hard work suggests that we are in control of our lives — that could not be further from the truth.
Sometimes we give a person every last bit of us, but they find someone better. Sometimes we do no wrong to a person, but they hurt us. Sometimes we spend copious amounts of time, effort, and money, but go unrecognized. Sometimes we spend hours practicing and perfecting, but are never good enough.
We are intended to work with the wind, not to become it, and not to go against it. We are not in control of our lives, we are only in control of our reactions to life as it comes to us.
Because of this, hard work does not guarantee success. You can be worlds away from something meant for you, but with time it will still find you.
In the same way, you can be an arm’s length from something not meant for you, but it will still never be. There are things so much greater than you and I. We are not meant to carry the burden of controlling everything.
There is more to this country than the city in which you live, there is more to this world than the human race, there is more to this universe than the world and there is more to the universe than the universe as we know it.
Standing at closed doors will not make them open, and chasing something that’s running away from you will only make it run faster. When we try to be in control we make life a lot harder than it needs to be.
Instead, we should appreciate what flows into our lives with ease, and let go of the things that feel forced, the things that are not meant for us. Believe that what is meant to be will be, and watch as your life reveals itself to its greatest potential.
previously published on ThoughtCatalog.