Okay, so it sounds shady, but I’m not saying that the best relationship of your life will be with someone who still texts their ex “good morning” or “goodnight” as you’re lying next to them.
I’m saying it will be with someone who values trust more than anything.
It is no secret that relationships are built on trust. In a relationship, you are trusting somebody with the most sensitive, raw parts of you — your heart, mind, body, and soul — and trusting that they won’t take advantage of that. You are giving somebody every opportunity to hurt you and trusting that they simply won’t.
A person who remains friends with their exes will not find themselves in a relationship that lacks trust. This is because people who expect trust tend to value trust, and those who value trust will make sure that it is the foundation of their relationship.
They might expect you to give them the benefit of the doubt, to believe the best in them, but they will also never fail to believe the best in you. The more trust is given to them the more trust is reciprocated, and the more trust there is in a relationship, the stronger it becomes.
The truth is that you can tell so much about a person by the way they leave.
Some people burn bridges. They set fire to the people they have claimed to love because it’s easier to accuse someone than it is to understand them. It’s easier to be angry than it is to deal with the pain of letting go.
A breakup signifies the end of something, but it doesn’t erase the past. It is natural for us to allow our emotions to overtake situations. It’s so much easier to cut ties and act like you “never really liked them anyway” than it is to accept your differences and respect each other as people.
Most people carry too much pride to accept the fact at one point, their ex was their world. At one point, their ex was the only thing that could make them smile after a long, hard day.
Even if they did turn out to be the completely wrong person for them, even if they weren’t the person they thought they were, they both still sacrificed time, and they both came to the mutual agreement that they liked each other enough to where it was worth a shot.
When a person is able to walk away gracefully, it means they are able to genuinely appreciate the special place everything and everyone holds in their life.
They will always be the first to drop their pride and talk things through because they value a person’s time, effort, and presence in their life, no matter what.
Being in a relationship with someone who genuinely appreciates you for just being you is so important because with it comes respect. Differences will create interest instead of arguments, arguments will be more like healthy discussions, and positivity will present itself throughout.
It goes beyond being with someone who stays friends with an ex. It’s what that says about a person’s ability to trust, forgive, and appreciate others.
The best relationship of your life will be with one in which you can trust each other, believe in each other, and appreciate each other. It will be with someone whose love was so genuine, you’ll never be able to forget it — and maybe that’s why they’re still friends with all their exes.
previously published on ThoughtCatalog